The Circle of Life

Today I found a point on this Circle of Life.
A point no matter how prepared for
No matter how rationalized
No matter how questioned
Was reached and changed the journey of my own life.

These past years I have had some time to reflect on my past and ponder my future.
There have been trials and losses yet hopes and dreams.
More importantly I realize life is a circle and everything is connected.
There is a beginning and an end
Or is there?
Whilst on Dec. 14th 2016 I lost a great woman
I have to believe that somewhere in the universe someone gained a great woman.

We are born naked and helpless and with my own eyes I see that what we would call the end is quite very similar to the beginning.

However the circle is large and the time in between Birth and Death was clearly illustrated to me through the life of my grandma.

There is growth
There is struggle
There is maturity
There is more struggle
There are experiences new
There are memories old and faded
There is regression
There is yet more struggle
Finally there is weakness
and we leave this existence.

There was a time when I was cared for loved and comforted  as a child as are mostly all of us I would hope.
During the last few months I was able to pay back this universal debt while learning many lessons on life.
I was the one able to care for, love and comfort my grandmother.

Now that may sound deep and rather dismal but in what I observed there are two most important things
I forgot to mention.
I think a LOT of us have forgot to remember
that there is LOVE and Happiness in this LIFE

I am a sentimental soul and tend to relive the past many many times.
As we think back to those we have lost let us remember what made them Happy and feel LOVE for and from them.

All of us will have had our own memories of our loved ones who have gone on ahead of us.

What does this mean in the circle of life?

I really don't have a rational explanation for that. I believe the circle is relevant.
Sometimes our circles intersect sometimes they part but I do believe that we are all connected and if we visualize we are all in different positions on this circle of life and love, yet it is a circle so no mater where we are we are all connected.

So in summation I will ask all who read this to take a look at how YOU are living your circle of life and to realize where you were, where you are and where you will be and fill that circle of life full of LOVE and happiness.

Lastly may a sense of peace be felt by all who read this for now my grandma's circle is complete as she joined my mom's circle, her son's circle, her husband's circle and the circles of all whom have gone on before her.

10 years gone

Earlier today I started writing a witty memorial to my mother in the ten years anniversary of her death.
I called it "Ten years gone" after a famous Zeppelin song.

Well I arrive here to finish it and it's gone.
Oh the irony.
Well the flow won't feel the same...but I'll try my best.
I know that I am "Here without you"
Yet part of you is "Here with me"
I'm trying to be your "simple man"
Yet I feel so helpless.
I wish I could say "I aint missing you"
But the sad truth is "Love hurts"
It's been so long since I have seen you and I figure one day I hope to "See you on the other side"
Mom "Mama" and "Mother" come to me. Basically many songs remind me
That "There is always something there to remind me" of the love you showed me and "IF" somehow you can hear me or see me I want you to know I'm not a perfect person and truly there is a "Reason" for my to "Carry on wayward son". "Only time" which was one of your favorite songs will help me to heal. I sit here with your body below...yet it isn't nuturing as it was "in eutro"
I guess "Everybody hurts" and though it's "Ten years gone" I realize that "After the Goldrush" of life we slowly become "Comfortably numb"
I've had many women say "So long this is goodbye" and you never meant to leave me so fast. Perhaps one day there will be a granddaughter you never got to meet that will bear your name. " I believe" she is "Somehwere out there".
So for now I shall keep "Wonder 'n as the days go buy" as your "Joey".
Mom to you I truly feel every word of your song
"The Ballad of Jayne"
I miss you more with each year that passes and "I love you"
Rest in peace mother and please be with me as often as you can.
Give Jersey a pet for me as I hope you are able to ride "Wild Horses".